On matters of love and practicality.

This might not come as a revelation to anyone who's known me for any period of time, but...I'm not particularly good at maintaining long-term relationships, short-term relationships, no-term relationships or -- hey, if I'm going to be entirely honest -- any sustained level of male-female interaction requiring patience, compassion and general emotional stability.

I'm not particularly torn up about being single presently since I'm not that prone to feeling desperately lonely. But I am worried that any chances for exhibiting my aptitude as a housewife will be ruined by my solitary tendencies.

I'll have you know, I possess a number of characteristics that would be beneficial to any Potential Husband(s) I may have in the future. For example, when I'm stressed out, I enjoy:

1.) cooking,
2.) cleaning,
3.) organizing,
4.) shaving my legs,
5.) engaging in private activities one does not discuss in polite society, and
6.) driving long distances.

I should clarify on the "cleaning": While I'm not partial to vacuuming, I do have a strange predilection for an old fashioned sweeping and scrubbing. But that's easy enough to solve. (Potential Husband, if you're reading this, let's try to find something with hardwood floors. Or linoleum tiles, at the very least...if we must.)

I can relate to a man's Inner Geek (I was raised on Monty Python, the Three Stooges, Star Wars, and all varieties of Star Trek) without over-indulging it (I won't go to your conferences or dress up for your non-canon fantasies). Also, I'm definitely not a shopaholic, probably not an alcoholic, and I don't listen to questionable mainstream music.

All things considered, as long as I don't get frustrated with my Potential Husband(s), empty our joint checking account(s) and take off into the night on one of those long-distance drives (which may or may not include faking my own death and living the rest of my life under an assumed identity in another geographical region of the world that doesn't allow extradition), I should think said Potential Husband(s) would consider me a Very Good Catch.

Don't you think?

Anyway, feel free to submit your Potential Husband applications for review. And thanks for listening.... I'm glad we had this talk.